IC INBOX | RYSLIG

[soft_focus]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CCC-REDHORSE. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 134.64.202.69 *** CCC-REDHORSE has joined 134.64.202.69 <CCC-REDHORSE> This is Reira Akaba! <CCC-REDHORSE>I'll try to answer you but sometimes I'm busy or sleeping, so I don't think about the message right away.

Comments

[liquidbaby]

B-but if he w-won't listen, how can I f-f-fix it? I gotta m-make it good again, I don't, I don't want to lose anyone, if, if they don't make up I'll be alone again, I don't wanna l-lose them... [ The thought of not being able to do anything to get them to listen, to get Robbie to listen is devastating. ]

I, I didn't p-protect daddy good enough...

No! Doing bad things can't be sometimes bad and sometimes good, that's not, that's not how it works. I don't, bad isn't right, I thinked it was right before in my world, we tried to, to almost destroy the whole w-world and I thinked it was right but it was just BAD, so, so it can't be right to do bad things now, that, I can't, that doesn't work...! [ There was no way Reira could have thought Ron would understand that, not after having been taught that hurting people is bad, and the people he'd murdered hadn't deserved it.

Another thought strikes him. ]

N-nee-san, you can't be best f-friends with a God, you w-worship them and th-they're above u-us...

[soft_focus]

You won't have to lose anyone though..! We can talk to Draco, or...or find someone else to talk to them..!

...We just have to wait a little, until Robbie calms down, and...

[...And it's really hard to respect this secret while also making you feel good.] It's not that we did 'bad', Ron..! This isn't like doing bad things like destroying the world, or...or killing people, okay? It's that something bad happened!

Like when you... ...Like when you spill some ice cream! [she tries quickly.] ...Even though it's a bad thing, you didn't do something that was wrong, right? It wasn't something evil, right?

[And it is here that Reira grows rather stone faced. Ron.]

...You don't worship the 4th, Ron. I know they say he's a god, and I know that's what you said you do with Gods where you were from...

But that's not how it works here. The 4th is our friend. He can be our best friend! And he's not above okay?

...If he was... ...why would he play games with us, Ron?

[liquidbaby]

Y-you think uncle Dragon c-can do it? [ His heart is so tight he feels like he's going to explode (though it's more likely that he'll cry so hard that he throws up instead). ]

L-like ice c-cream...? [ That doesn't sound as bad, but... ] But that's st-still not r-right...? [ He gets a small part of it, but not how that makes what they did right. ]

I d-don't know how to be friends with a G-god, it f-feels weird. [ She might have noticed that Ron was awkward when Fourth was around and playing, and it's entirely because he's used to gods you're not supposed to see, or play with, or think of as worth the same as you. God is supposed to be admired and viewed as much better than yourself. ]

I-I don't know.

[soft_focus]

...Yeah. ...If we give him time...yeah. [Please don't cry. Or vomit. Please.

..She tries more.] ...If the Fog God made everything like Lager Woods...where everything is foggy, and you're always hungry, and scared, and might go crazy...

Would that be better? [She asks, deciding to explain the friend deal after this bit is over with.]

[liquidbaby]

H-how much? [ Which is preferable? Either way he's likely to fall asleep from the exhaustion of such intense emotions. ]

N-no...? I-it's b-bad, right...? [ He can deal with hunger, he'll just eat a person, but he doesn't like being scared. ]

[soft_focus]

...We should probably wait until at least next month... [She says quietly, moving on.] ...Right.

...That's what would have happened if the 4th didn't pick conduits.

[liquidbaby]

T-that's a really long time... [ What if Robbie forgets they exist by then? ]

B-but... both daddy and uncle Robbie s-said it's... it was b-bad of... God t-to pick me b-because I d-didn't understand... A-are they wr-wrong?

[soft_focus]

[...That one's tricky. Honestly, she thinks it WAS a bad idea...but that'll only make Ron upset right now, so...]

...Why do you think the 4th picked you?

[liquidbaby]

H-he did it b-because I'm s-stupid and e-easy to get to d-do b-bad things?

[ Tsukikage is a grown-up AND his dad, he trusted him so much, he couldn't just dismiss what he'd told him. And Tsukikage and Robbie never called him stupid, that's just his own words. ]

B-because I'm a v-villjan?

[ See, still upset. ]

[soft_focus]

Because he trusts you.

[She's just going to frown now.] You're not dumb. And you weren't picked because he wanted you to do a bad thing.

He picked you because he trusted you to help him do what would stop the Fog. You're not a villain, okay?

...You're a hero. And he picked you, and me, and the others, because we were the ones he knew would do our best to help. He knew we'd be able to hide, and stay safe, and keep the secret.

[liquidbaby]

[ He doesn't see the frown, as he's buried his face in his knees, feeling sick and sad. ]

Wh-why would he t-trust me when I've d-done so m-much b-bad stuff?

[soft_focus]

[She'll try to hug him as best as she can-and explain. ...It's hard, but when it comes to this, she likes to think that the 4th would agree with her.] ...Because he know you don't want to do bad things anymore.

[liquidbaby]

[ He moves his snotty face to Reira's chest and buries his face in her shirt instead. ]

N-nee-san, I don't know if, if I c-can trust h-him r-right now...

[ He has to do a lot of thinking, but his mind is in shambles right this second. ]

[soft_focus]

[.............It's what everyone says. And it leaves her quiet.] ...Why? [she finally asks.]

...Because of what the others said?

[liquidbaby]

[ Can she really blame him? So much has changed since she got him to join. ] U-uh-huh... S-sorry, p-please don't h-hate me...

[soft_focus]

...I'm not going to hate you.

[....] ....But remember that Robbie was the one who wouldn't say sorry to Tsukikage. And he's the one who won't listen even when we say Tsukikage isn't mad. He's the one who left, even though Tsukikage is hurting more than everyone else, [she adds quite firmly.]

...Robbie might care, but that doesn't mean he's right right now.

...And until he can see when someone is hurt, instead of pretending they're not, I'm not going to believe what Robbie says about a lot of things.

Especially the things that I know he's wrong about.

[liquidbaby]

But, but daddy s-said similar th-things too...

[ He knows they were talking about Robbie and Tsukikage not being okay with each other before, but that didn't change that they both currently had similar views on Ron and the Fourth God. ]

[soft_focus]

[........Somehow unsurprising.] ...Did Tsukikage say why though?

[liquidbaby]

B-because I'm too young and d-didn't know it a-all and e-everything...?

[soft_focus]

...That's not the same kind of not trust.

... [She sighs.] Tsukikage's just mad because he doesn't like it when you and I are doing things that we could get hurt with. But...

...I don't think Tsukikage remembers that the 4th is a kid too. ...Adults think kids can't do lots of things. I learned that after a while while I was here, [She explains.] ....It doesn't make a lot of sense... ...but it's what they think, and it means that even if we know what we're doing, and we're safe, they don't always agree.

...And Tsukikage never agrees, when it's about us.

[liquidbaby]

But daddy w-was right, I d-didn't know... I don't w-wanna be... b-be be bad even if it's r-right a-anymore...

[ Tsukikage is protective, yes, but he believes in him too. ]

[soft_focus]

That you were in danger?

...Being in danger doesn't make you bad. [There is a pause. She wanted to help him keep this promise. She really, really did.

...But she doesn't understand.] ...Ron.

...I'm really trying to help...but... ....if I don't know why you think you did something bad to Tsukikage...

...I can't help make it better either. ...I don't want you to have to break your secret promise though. So...

...I need you to believe me-the 4th isn't going to make you do bad things. He'll never make you do bad things.

Not unless it's the only way to save someone.

[liquidbaby]

I, I can't, I can't t-tell, I p-promised... I'm s-sorry, I really, I'm r-r-really really sorry, nee-san... P-please f-forgive m-me...?
[ He's trying so hard to keep the promise he made to Tsukikage, he doesn't want him to be disappointed... but it's difficult not to tell Reira right this moment. ]

W-would y-you still l-l-love me even if- if I wasn't f-following G-god anymore...? [ He doesn't know if it'll come to him not following him anymore, but he needs to know the most important part first. If Reira won't love him anymore, there's no way he'd be able to leave Fourth. ]

[soft_focus]

[....She'll forgive him. Absolutely. But even as she tries to answer, she's finding tears in her eyes. Even then...]

...You...

...Even after all the stuff we did together, and for the 4th... ...even after we stopped the fog, you'd leave..?

[Even as she says it, she knows she shouldn't have. She hugs Ron tighter, and shakes as she answers.] ....I wouldn't be mad. And I'd...I'd still love you-and that's a promise.

But... ...but if you don't want to be the 4th's friend any more...

...You have to be the one to tell him why.

[liquidbaby]

I, I don't know wh-what I wanna, I j-just... If you'd h-hate me if I leave I w-won't, okay? Promise? I p-p-promise...!

[ He's terrified of her leaving him. It hurts enough that Robbie might be gone (he won't know yet), but the thought of losing either Reira or Tsukikage was mindnumbingly scary. ]

I-I know, I, I'll th-th-think l-l-lots and b-be r-r-really s-sure what I w-wanna d-do...