soft_focus | Lost Carnival

And you're already aware of the other consequences of your actions, I am sure.

[ He says that and finally moves, bringing his hands back around from behind him. It's a slight break in the bored, fairly detached look as he rubs the bridge of his nose and gives a tired sigh. ]

I suppose it's for the best then if you feel yourself better off with animals. I cannot afford a thief who is harmed by emotions, Ms. Akaba, considering robbery tends to cause nothing but negative emotion.

...I should have stayed, [she says quietly.] ....If I was there again....I would have stayed. ...I've felt much worse things, before. Worse than even the Ringmaster's hate...

[But- As she takes in Childermass' words, she stiffens.]

....Angry animals hurt a lot more than anyone I've ever stolen from, [She answers honestly. She was prepared for many things to possibly be said, when it came to working. That she couldn't be trusted. That her mistake was too grave.] ...Even the people who almost caught me. And even the people who did catch me, [She adds, swallowing.]

...and right now-especially after everything that happened, I don't think I'm better off being only with animals at all..!

[...And, with an anxious now of the head-] ...sir!

Then you weren't paying attention to how angry the Prince was when we stole from him. [ His anger may as well have been an earthquake, even to Childermass. ] Our marks may more often be simply to gather supplies, but there will be times when who we go after will not be normal people. They may very well be more fae, like the Prince. Worse, perhaps.

[ God knows what else, too, if all the strange worlds he's gone through so far is any indication. ]

But I find it odd. You chose to be with the animals because they hurt you less, which led us to this entire mess. An angry animal can harm you, as well?

I chose them because they weren't scared..! [She shouts, pausing only to regain her own calm.] ...I chose it...because if I didn't, they'd keep worrying.

........I knew that more people were being worried. And worry doesn't hurt a lot at all. But I wanted them to stop worrying because they were WORRIED, not because it hurt! [she laments, shaking her head. Yes, it hurt, but the biggest thing that keeps coming back, and back, and back to her mind is....it was far, far from the worst she'd ever felt.] So I thought 'if I go there, and sleep there, they'll stop worrying. ...And I made it worse.

[She's hiding something-someone, more accurately, but she carries on before she can dwell on it.]

...I know The Prince was angry. He was more than angry, [she adds, frowning.] He had a lot of hate, too-and fear, even. [As much as it was radiating on the spot, at least.]

....But I fought something that hated worse than that-and I held that thing inside me, before I came here, too.

I know it hurts. ....But I also know that there are things a lot more important than if I'm hurt.

....and.... ....I also know now, that those things are more important than if others are worried about that hurt, too. ....even if I don't know what that thing might be.

[She swallows-but steels herself, looking up to the man.] When the Prince left the dance, his hate, and anger, were there. That didn't change-even if I wasn't there where you stole from him, I felt that.

...And I could still move, and think, because he didn't feel it as long as everyone felt scared.

[She has a feeling, after all, that no one they steal from will be standing in front of them for a full number of hours. Not without someone dying, at least. ...And....

The girl gathers some courage.] ....After I came back... ....I tried to find you, to talk to you, about what happened. ....To say 'sorry'-even if sorry is only a word. ....But more than just sorry, [Reira explains, doing her best to keep calm,] I didn't want to hide. ...Because I did something that anywhere else, would mean I was dead-that a lot of others would be dead-and even if had been just one, and not everyone, it still would have been just as bad.

[Well. Perhaps not, but as it is.] ....Is me being hurt when people feel things... ....is that really the only reason you don't want me to steal for you, any more?

[She doesn't ask with hope. Or even fear, for that matter-it is a cautious curiosity, as she wonders how she could be trusted at all, after this.

(Perhaps there was more to what everyone kept telling her, after all.)]

....The ones that are lying are the ones that don't 'move on', [She murmurs softly. It's a good way to find one surrounded by sociopaths and other, equally emotion-blank shells, truly.

But that's hardly the point.] I wouldn't. [She says that without hesitation.]

....Even if everyone who was worried was right there, I would stay in bed, and go to sleep.

[ All of that and all she gets is one very unimpressed Childermass. Appealing to him that she didn't want to hide after the fact, after all this nonsense about painful feelings and fleeing from them, long rambling explanations, struggling to control her emotions even now. It was putting the cart before the horse in this case when all he cared for were straightforward answers.

So, no, that little frown of his only becomes a scowl. ]

It is the cause of many reasons. It prompted you to make a decision that you yourself realize was selfish. Not only that, but it was childish. You disobeyed what the Warden and the Nightrider told everyone to do, brought down two others with you for your behavior, and now it seems you plan on arguing with my decision. Your inability to follow a simple rule and that you can apparently be so affected makes you a danger in the field, not only to others but to yourself.

[ Childermass doesn't have to raise his voice, he just has to sound gravely disappointed. ]

If you wish to act like a child, as that is indeed what you are, you are free to do so, under the care of the Foreman and only the Foreman. That will be all, Ms. Akaba.

....And if I don't..?

[She doesn't even know what acting like a child means, at this point. But if she isn't allowed to get another chance at all-then she has little choice (no choice, really) but to take it.]

[ Not listening to adults, for one.

He raises an eyebrow at her. ]

And if you don't what, Ms. Akaba?

....If I don't want to 'act like a child'. [If that includes 'listening to adults', then that's the exact thing she'd like to do a lot more of since not doing it that One Time went horribly. Or at least, listening to the Wrong Adult made things go horribly.

She's certainly capable of making sure she listens to the Right ones in the future, at least.]

Edited (it occurred to me she was. Listening. to Julien, who is an Adult.) 2017-11-12 12:34 (UTC)

Then you've done a fine job of making me believe otherwise. Now I have dismissed you twice already. I will not discuss this further.

[ It doesn't matter. It would only further prove an inability to make good decisions and coupled with, as far as he's been able to figure out from her rambling, an uncontrollable empathy, he won't be putting her or his team at risk for the pride of a seven year old.

In any case, this last dismissal has him turning away to look back out across the lake rather than at her. ]

[Well fine then. She does study his back for a moment-she can tell the conversation is going nowhere, certainly, but it Is always odd to read off this one. But she does turn.

Fine. Prove she can be trusted, and find a way to stop feeling pain. She'll work on those things on top of taking orders to heart, in the future. Even if Childermass doesn't intend to pay any of that mind in the future.

It is strange though, she thinks-she's certain, very certain, that many adults have made just as poor decisions over feelings.

She'll be gone by the time Childermass finally does choose to turn back, but she certainly won't be going to her trailer now. She has better things to do.]

Yes, yet it is a phrase used to hide and conceal more than actual acceptance.

[The more he talks to this young lady the more he realizes how much she has likely had to deal with. It's disconcerting.]

Then you have nothing to worry about. Not anymore. Take whatever punishment we might receive in stride and move on. There's no point in lingering in it or it'll consume you.

I'm content if I can trust your word.

[Take it, 'move on'. She's quiet, as she repeats it in her mind.]

....Tyki? [She eventually says quietly.]

....Is it ok to find you, right now?

[She'd like a hug, she thinks, and she's not sure how to ask.]

[He's not sure what his own punishment will be and he'll take it as it is. He hadn't wandered past the rooms and had found something on accident. Still, it was his choice and he'll live with whatever he's given.

But then the child asks him a question that he cannot refuse.]

Yes, it's alright. Just give me a minute to move. [Mostly because he's barely on the other side of the portal and he's not sure how Princess will react to others.]

Okay.

I'll wait until you're ready then.

[She's got no idea what 'a minute' is, to be fair. So.]

[He keeps her on the line with muffled words in the background. He'll be back soon but he has to reassure his princess and the others he is just stepping away for a moment.

He makes his way into the carnival, past the wide gates and finds a tree he can lean against.
Of course by the time she gets there he'll stop standing and sag to a sit underneath it.]

Alright. Come to me.

[The fact that he had to come through the portal is more or less her guide. It's easy to get in range of that, and then from there, in range of the other's feelings. Her steps are slow-she doesn't have any shoes beyond the maid ones right now, what with her only pair sort of being confiscated in return for 'proper' slippers at the manor-but other than that she has her sweater over her night clothes again, and she makes her way over.

...And then hesitates.]

I...

....hugs are allowed, right..? [She asks quietly.]

[He's opted not to smoke around her even if he wants to and he waits for her to arrive with an aired patience. He is watching her approach with a renewed interest in body language. Sorry but he is wary of everyone right now and he kind of wants to be alone.

But this is a kid and it is who he sees her as. Kids needed comfort and he nods at her request with enough intention to push himself up and lean forward with his legs out of the way. His warm and comforting smile might be a half lie but it is necessary.]

Yeah, kiddo. Just careful of my back.

[She's more than careful, after she runs over-her arms end up more around the waist than anything, not really reaching up more than that. Hugs are even now, relatively new for her-the sort of climbing bear hug that other kids would make....doesn't even register as possible to her.

But she's careful-even if she's shaking a bit, trying to keep that manner of calm she managed over the radio.]

[He'll find out later about Reira's removal from Acquisitions but if he's truly honest with himself he won't question it. To him she is a kid and one that is vulnerable. She's good at tracking and was a valuable help in tracking down Sans but... in a real fight or if they had to steal something from someone dangerous they would always need someone protecting her. If he hadn't been worried about her he might've never made that step past that large wall that separated the rooms. Yet he can't blame her. Not for his mistake.

Being a kid was her only advantage. Still, the hug is given and both of his arms will wrap around her in a comforting manner.] It's alright now.

[It's not alright. She doesn't reply with that, but it's not alright, and if she knew even slightly what the other was thinking it would no doubt fuel her future-self's determination that much more.

There's no room for determination right now, however. It's not alright.

And she's quiet all through the hug, and all through any tears shed against the other's clothes.]

[He knows it's not alright but then it was alright. Yet you can't just tell a kid it is not alright. Everything will work out or it just won't. There was only waiting and right now as the Prince was being dispatched he didn't have anything else to go on.

He's quiet through out the hug as well for the rest of it as his head eventually tilts back against the tree. He was a little harsh on her but it was necessary. If this was Road he wouldn't be as Road could protect herself. Reira was another matter all together.]

Ahem! Uh... Hello? Does this channel belong to someone? I received a... secret dispatch, directing me to this channel.

[The mystery and intrigue here are new and exciting. What manner of conspiracy could this be?]

Hi Papyrus. [Said quite plainly. Yes good, everything is already as planned-]

.....Umn....

....Earlier, you said...surprise presents are the best way to make happy feelings, right?

....Since we were in front of Asriel, it wouldn't have been a surprise but....

....Is it true? [She asks, toes fiddling with each other as she anxiously asks her question through the radio.]

Oho! So this is a... [He lowers his voice] gift conspiracy.

[Good thing he didn't call from the trailer, where the flower might be lurking around under pillows. Out here, sitting on top of one of the carnival rides, should be fine.]

Well! I don't honestly know if it's the best. But it's a very good way! Especially if it's a gift they like.

Lost Carnival - IC Inbox

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Radio, Evening B5, after discovering the note

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