[Yes-it would, certainly, be good if nothing so extreme ever happened again. She had a similar talk-perhaps a more immediately heavy one for that matter-with Tyki of course. But here, Reira nods. Somewhat guiltily, mind-as guilty as her body even knows how to show-but she nods and begins to explain.
This was the sort of talk she had intended to seek him out for, after all. There would be no point in holding back, or lying.] ...it was... ...Selfish, [she decides, visibly fumbling for the proper word momentarily.] ...when we go to the manor, everyone was scared, or upset. I thought, if it was just that, I could be okay.
...but at meals, there were worse feelings. ...and... It made it hard to think. It made others more upset, even... ...and when it was time to sleep, everyone's feelings were still there. Everywhere, [she adds-though while the status of the manor could no doubt have lent toward that, it more than likely contributed little to the 'load'.]
...we... [She swallows-avoiding Julien's name if she can help it, for his sake-]
....We had a portal to the stables. ...so, I was going to sleep there, so that the next day, I could be stronger for things, and make people worry less...and if someone came before that, go back through, and never try again.
[But, well. That obviously failed, and her grimace shares those thoughts.] ....I didn't think about how magic could work different. ....I didn't think about what would happen if it was too fast, [she confesses, swallowing]
...But it happened..! ...And then people were caught...and hurt-and everything that happened, the dance, and the hunt, and his name-
[She us, at least, aware of the sprawling gravity of events. But she sucks in a breath, and abruptly quiets.]
...You didn't ask about that part, [she states, bowing her head.] ...I left my room to sleep where there wouldn't be feelings that hurt. ....that was why.
why do I play from canons full of endless emotion rambles, hoo
This was the sort of talk she had intended to seek him out for, after all. There would be no point in holding back, or lying.] ...it was... ...Selfish, [she decides, visibly fumbling for the proper word momentarily.] ...when we go to the manor, everyone was scared, or upset. I thought, if it was just that, I could be okay.
...but at meals, there were worse feelings. ...and... It made it hard to think. It made others more upset, even... ...and when it was time to sleep, everyone's feelings were still there. Everywhere, [she adds-though while the status of the manor could no doubt have lent toward that, it more than likely contributed little to the 'load'.]
...we... [She swallows-avoiding Julien's name if she can help it, for his sake-]
....We had a portal to the stables. ...so, I was going to sleep there, so that the next day, I could be stronger for things, and make people worry less...and if someone came before that, go back through, and never try again.
[But, well. That obviously failed, and her grimace shares those thoughts.] ....I didn't think about how magic could work different. ....I didn't think about what would happen if it was too fast, [she confesses, swallowing]
...But it happened..! ...And then people were caught...and hurt-and everything that happened, the dance, and the hunt, and his name-
[She us, at least, aware of the sprawling gravity of events. But she sucks in a breath, and abruptly quiets.]
...You didn't ask about that part, [she states, bowing her head.] ...I left my room to sleep where there wouldn't be feelings that hurt. ....that was why.